Birthday Bust

Bust might be extreme, but I have had better birthdays. This year was definitely one to remember ... that's for sure. Mark had left this thoughtful goody for the girls to set out for me. 

 I received this sweetness from one of my adorable students (I can already tell I have a great group of kids).

 My mind was on overdrive with this new world I had just entered a day ago ... and. then. this. That call no parent wants to receive. "Hello Mrs. Smith, this is Officer .....". I honestly don't remember much after that. My heart started racing, the tears started flowing, and my brain couldn't think straight. Once I calmed enough to learn she was okay, and nobody else was hurt (thank goodness), I went into logistics mode. I couldn't leave school, I had a room full of 9 year olds. Mark was out of town. Her friend Taeson was there with her and would give her a ride to Poudre. She would take the bus to FRCC for her class in the afternoon. The officer said the car could stay until I could get there later. Perfect. This was all okay for now. Except that it wasn't. About midday I had a moment during lunch when I just broke down. The realization of my mistake hit me so hard. Kars was scared. This was a terrifying experience for her. She just needed her momma. In retrospect, I should have (and could have) dropped everything and went to her. I couldn't see that in the moment because my panicked brain had gone into "fix it mode". It's like I couldn't see beyond just what needed to be handled in that moment. I will always wish I had handled it different.  The guilt will eat me up. I left the minute the bell rang and picked her up from school to go to the crash site. Unfortunately, we had to total Wanda. We were all pretty upset about that, but I just kept thinking how the outcome of this could have been so much worse. It made me hold her a little tighter. 

 I was drained and really not in the celebrating mood. Emmrey had a birthday surprise for me. She knew I wanted a lock for the gym. Since it wasn't in her budget to buy a new one, she enlisted Mark to help her "find" one that needed an owner. She is the sweetest. ❤

 She also insisted they put a candle in a donut leftover from my treat I shared with my students. 

Let's just hope car wrecks don't become a regular thing on my birthday {2017} . I am over it!